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Shitsplosion at the Lloyd Center Macy's

from Puppies Are Nature's Rainbows by Dr. Something

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lyrics

Should not have eaten spurious leftovers,
But that’s hard to remedy now
I caught the westbound MAX at an inopportune time,
And now I’d better think fast lest I shit my pants

I wish we hadn’t just left Hollywood,
There’s a grocery store right near there
We were headed downtown, where public restrooms are so scarce,
But at the Lloyd Center stop, I knew I had my chance

It was gonna be a shitsplosion at the Lloyd Center Macy’s
Gotta look nonchalant and make a beeline to the bathroom
It was the first sign I saw in this god-forsaken mall,
May I please my salvation in its waste disposal station,
I prayed to the void!

So I bolted ‘cross the grass of the dingy park
With an awkward and penguin-like gait
Toward that red-labeled concrete slab just to the North,
And then I entered that box of bright lights, perfume and socks

It was gonna be a shitsplosion at the Lloyd Center Macy’s
Gotta look nonchalant and make a beeline to the bathroom
It was the first sign I saw in this god-forsaken mall,
May I please my salvation in its waste disposal station,
I prayed to the void!

Tried to downplay my sweat and my urgency,
Feigned some interest in the housewares,
I caught the escalator while avoiding strangers’ stares
Then in the corner I saw the loveliest sight of all

It was time for a shitsplosion at the Lloyd Center Macy’s
Gotta look nonchalant and make a beeline to the bathroom
I made it just in time to save these lucky pants of mine
I truly found salvation in this waste disposal station

And there I reached a place of sweet relief,
Where my previous worries were expelled from my soul
Sure, there was pain, but it mercifully subsided
When I’d cleansed my body and accomplished my goal

credits

from Puppies Are Nature's Rainbows, released December 2, 2014

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Dr. Something Portland

The project of longtime Portland songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Alison Dennis, Dr. Something uses imaginative instrumental and vocal textures alongside humorous, emotionally trenchant lyrics to create engaging chamber pop that blurs the line between art and novelty. ... more

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