Guess who's slith'ring down that mountain side into the city...
Guess who's got you on his list; you know that he ain't pretty.
He'll dole out retribution for your yearly filth and sin.
Better brace yourself, it's time for Krampusnacht again!

He will creep into your house, that hairy beast of hell,
And tear you from your dreams with clashing chains and rusting bell.
Awake to see your punisher uncomfortably near,
A brutal hornèd devil spreading violent Christmas fear!

Oh!
One strike with the birch branch,
And you're shaken to the bone!
Two strikes to the bare skin,
So due penitence is shown!
Three strikes for your insolence,
Through Spring, Summer and Fall!
Four strikes then he gives,
For no reason at all!

(Instrumental Break)

St. Nicholas will only visit if you have been nice,
Bringing luscious gifts of candy, fruit and tea and spice.
But if you have been naughty and a wretched little snot
Krampus will flagellate you for the devilry you've wrought!

The Krampus is an ancient creature with the task, you see
Of utilizing horror to enforce morality.
But lest you think this function makes him scupulous and fair,
Remember his main joy in life is rampant, aimless terror.

*chorus*